I have been going through Beth Moore's latest Bible study, Stepping Up: A Journey through the Psalms of Ascent. In it, Beth shares several stories about her new grandson. In one account, she shares how she told her daughter to set up as many "yes" situations as possible for her son, because the next three years are going to be full of "no."
So, this afternoon, when Luke clearly communicated that he wanted to take his nap on the green blanket on his floor, I decided to say "yes." He got down on the blanket with his cup. I closed his window shade. I turned off is lamp. He pointed to the overhead light and said, "Light off." (Lately, we must turn on both the lamp and main light in his room for him to play.) I shut the door and walked away.
I peaked back in about ten minutes later, expecting to find him playing with his toys. I was impressed to find him still quietly laying on the floor in his room. He was still awake, though. I asked him if he was going to sleep. His wide blue eyes looked innocently at me as he nodded. So, I once again said, "night-night," closed the door behind me and went about my business.
He has been snoozing soundly for about two hours now. I have to admit, I'm kinda proud of him.
7 comments:
This is a great reminder. Thanks. In a day so full of "no" it is wise to create "yes" situations. They take a bit of mental flexibility (sometimes kids ask for strange things!), which I am not always the best at. It seems, with parenting, there is ALWAYS room to grow!!
wow, christin. that strikes me as quite wise. obviously not raising any children myself, it seems to be good to create those "yes" situations. sadly, that's all my very tired brain is offering right now, but being a former child myself, i read this, & i say "yes" to it myself. ;o)
i love that he is learning to exercise his own decision-making power in life, and that you are creating opportunities to support it in safe and innocent ways. there was a playful tone to this story you shared about this interaction with luke today. it made me smile.
Rebecca - you are so right! There is ALWAYS room to grow in parenting. Sometimes, I don't think I could be any stupider as a parent. I am so grateful that the Holy Spirit is active in me to teach me how to be a better parent in the ins and outs of each day.
Kirsten - again you make me smile. And, I think that you have hit on something. I think it is good for a parent to remember the he/she too is a former child and try to see things from their child's perspective.
Christianne - Yes! One of the biggest challenges I find is knowing the balance between encouraging Luke's decision making skills/independence and training him the rights and wrongs of life.
The other day, Luke went into the kitchen, slid a chair over to the counter, grabbed a bag of cookies, opened it, grabbed a cookie, returned the bag to where he found it, and returned the chair to the table (mostly). I walked in to find him standing in the middle of the living room proudly enjoying his cookie. I was excited and proud to know that he had used problem solving skills to get what he wanted. However, he knows that he is not supposed to move the chairs accross the kitchen floor, he knows he is supposed to ask for cookies, and he can't have a cookie right before dinner. So, I had to take the cookie away and explain that in this situation, he is supposed to ask permission and he cannot have a cookie right before dinner. His heart was broken. My heart was broken. There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth. Ugh.
Teachas much from a positive perspective as possible. We all enjoy learning when we're being encouraged. I love this!
Ah, the 'yes' situations. I'm trying to do this myself. Plus, we are trying to make it fun to nod our head (like a bobble-head doll) rather than always having the head go left to right in saying no.
This parenthood thing is really fun, but really hard, too! Thanks for sharing your stories. Miss you!
Lisa - you are one of the best teachers I know, and I am grateful to continue learning from you.
Christi - I hope you are feeling well. I can just see you and Lucas bobbing heads together. What a great idea. I don't know about you, but "no" has become one if my least favorite words, whether I am saying it or Luke is saying it.
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